A Rough Guide to Prayer
How we talk to someone depends on our relationship with him or her. How we pray depends on our perception of our relationship with God. We can compare intimacy with God with the love between a father and a child .
God as a Father in the Old Testament
The Father/son imagery is used occasionally of God and the people of Israel in the Old Testament when God reminds them that he cares for them despite their behaviour.
Two examples
Jeremiah 3:19
"I myself said, "`How gladly would I treat you like sons and give you a desirable land, the most beautiful inheritance of any nation.' I thought you would call me `Father' and not turn away from following me.
20:But like a woman unfaithful to her husband, so you have been unfaithful to me, O house of Israel," declares the LORD.
Hosea 11:1
"When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son.
2:But the more I called Israel, the further they went from me. They sacrificed to the Baals and they burned incense to images.
3:It was I who taught Ephraim to walk, taking them by the arms; but they did not realise it was I who healed them.
4:I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love; I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them.
Jesus’ use of the word ‘father’
In the New Testament the father imagery rushes to the fore and dominates our picture of God
God as Father is used 300 + times including 215 instances in the Gospels by Jesus himself
Here we get to the crux of the matter. What was the actual word used by Jesus, in the Aramaic, to His father?
The word he used to describe God was Abba'. As Joachim Jeremias' classic study of this word has shown:
This was an intimate form of address used by children in an Aramaic-speaking home. Children would address their mothers as 'imma' and their fathers as 'abba'. The best translation of Abba (Jeremias believed) would be ‘Daddy’
Jesus use of this word in his relationship with God was unique in Judaism.
Jesus taught his own followers to address God as 'Our Father in heaven', thereby inviting them into the same intimate relationship with God that he knew
While 'Daddy' may not be a perfect translation of Abba' then Papa or Dad is probably the nearest English equivalent. The fact that adults in those days used Abba' when they spoke to their earthly fathers is not an argument against the sense of intimacy associated with the word. So there is staggering import in this word Abba.
The difference between being a Father and being a Dad is very clear to us today but the example of frogs may elucidate it further.
Frogs father tadpoles but have absolutely no role in caring for the tadpoles. They are fathered but they do not have a dad.
But what a difference a real Father – dad makes
Naomi Gryn has written about her father, Hugo – the late rabbi of the West London Synagogue – well known to listeners of the Moral Maze on Radio 4. She tells the story of how Hugo and his father survived together in the Nazi camps – how he was shielded by his own father’s love. From this he learnt how to be a father himself. Naomi describes him as the ‘sweetest, most loving father’.
‘I savour my memories of the marvellous years we shared, each of which I unwrap like priceless gemstones… Every moment we spent together was a joyful journey of discovery, and through his eyes the world was full of wonder, an ever-unfolding mystery, scripted and stage-managed by Hugo’s Big Buddy, God.’
Now in Jewish family life of the time this relationship implied obviously love and care but also obedience. And it was when Jesus was in the extreme moment in the Garden of Gethsemane that he prays using ‘Abba’
He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. 34:"My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death," he said to them. "Stay here and keep watch." 35:Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him.
:"Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." Mark 14:33
Compared to Jesus what is our relationship with the God In one sense, it is the same,
He said to them, "When you pray, say: "`Father, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come. Luke 11:2
Paul puts it like this:
For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Romans 8:15
Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father."
7:So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir. Galatians 4:6
For us too we can know God as Abba.
We can be
“like a little child before the Good God” Therese of Lisieux
“drunk with the Father’s love” Catherine of Sienna
One problem with regard to seeing God as Father is the relationship that we had with our own father which colours our perception of the word.
One of the main reasons people hold false perceptions of God is our tendency to project onto God the unloving characteristics of the people we look up to. We tend to believe that God is going to treat us as other do.
The spiritual development of the God image is probably more of an emotional process than an intellectual one.
"No child arrives at the 'house of God' without his pet God under his arm." And for some of us the "pet God" we have tied on a leash to our hearts is not very nice, nor is it biblically accurate.
If your father was a pushy man who was inconsiderate of you, or who violated and used you, you may see God in the same way. You probably feel cheap or worthless in God's eyes, and perhaps feel that you deserve to be taken advantage of by others. You may feel that God will force you -- not ask you -- to do things you don't want to do.
If your father was overly critical and constantly came down hard on you, or if he didn't believe in you or your capabilities and discouraged you from trying, you may perceive God in the same way. You don't feel as if you're worth God's respect or trust. You may even see yourself as a continual failure, deserving all the criticism you receive.
Mark Stibbe in “From Orphans to Heirs” wrote: “My image of God for the fist few years of my Christian life was that he was a stern judge, not a laying Father. I was taught to fear God, but not to love him. The net result of this was that I started to live a life of legalism rather than a life of love. However hard I tried, I couldn't live up to God's standards. I functioned as slave rather than as a son. The main reason was because of a deficient image of God. Many people suffer from this and indeed some never escape from it. If we are to be set free we must move from a place where we fear God to a place where we can love him as well.”
If you father was distant, impersonal and uncaring, and he wouldn't intervene for you, you may see God as having the same characteristics. As a result, you feel that you are unworthy of God's intervention in your life. You find it difficult to draw close to God because you see Him as disinterested in your need and wants.
What of these words describe your own father
conditionally loving
poor at communicating
controlling
judgmental
unreliable
out of control
introverted
cold and aloof
self-hating
critical
indifferent
absent
dishonest
abusive
unforgiving
stingy
non-playful
Which of these words deep down describe God for you
Implications for prayer that God is our ‘Abba’
1. Sincerity Matt 6:5 - From the heart not the surface
2. Simplicity not complicated or stilted language
3. Helplessness – dependence “Only he who is truly helpless can truly pray” ‘helplessness is prayer’ (O Hallesby) wrote in 'Prayer'
4. Gods care – his presence Luke 11:9 "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10:For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
11:Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?
12:Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13:If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"
But does God always answer prayer?
God can’t make two plus two equal anything other than four, so to speak, and we can all sympathise with the desperate but rather doomed prayer of the schoolboy who was overheard as he came out of his exam saying, “Please, God, make Paris the capital of Turkey!”
Reasons why our prayers are not always answered:
The first is unconfessed sin. There is a verse in Isaiah that says it is not that God can’t hear - God is not deaf - it is not that God can’t hear. It’s just that the things that we do wrong things cause a barrier between us and God. That’s why sometimes people say, “I have tried praying I just don’t seem to be getting through”. That’s because there is this barrier and we need to confess. We need to receive the forgiveness that Jesus made possible on the cross. And once we have done that, the barrier is removed and we can have access to the Father.
It might be things that we are planning to do in the future. The psalmist said, “If I cherished sin in my heart...” In other words, “If I was planning to do something that I knew was wrong, the Lord would not have heard me”.
Then another reason is perhaps the wrong motives. The apostle James writes: “You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask you do not receive because you ask with wrong motives so that you may spend what you get on your pleasures”.
There is an example from the 18th Century of a rather selfish prayer. It is from someone called John Ward of Hackney. This is a genuine prayer. “Oh, Lord, you know I have 9 estates in the City of London and likewise I have recently purchased a freehold estate in the county of Essex. I beseech you to preserve the 2 counties of Essex and Middlesex from fire and earthquake. Oh, and as I have also purchased a property in Hertfordshire, I beg of you likewise, to have an eye of compassion on that county. As for the rest of the counties, you may deal with them as you are pleased!”.
And there are right motives – the desire for God’s kingdom to come – ‘your will be done’ not our puny kingdom but his glorious kingdom
Every single day in Britain 20 schoolgirls become pregnant, 2 under the age of 13. 17 women are raped. 65% of videos for sale or hire deal with occult, sex or violence. 520 couples are divorced every day. 75 children are added to child protection registers in England alone. And also incidentally 1-2 children under 5 die each week following neglect or abuse. Every day 90 children are taken into Local Authority Care. 280 children run away from home or care. 150 people are found guilty by a court for drug offences. One new crime is committed every 6 seconds. There are 2 burglaries and 3 car crimes every 60 seconds. A violent attack takes place every 2 minutes. Somebody calls the Samaritans every 2 minutes. The United Kingdom has the highest number in prison per head of population of any other EU country. One in three under 14 admit to regular sexual intercourse. At least one person sleeping rough in London dies each week. The pornographic industry in the UK is worth over a £100 million annually. Crime costs British businesses more than £5 billion per year; there are 30,000 Christian clergy of all types and more than 80,000 registered witches and fortune tellers. This land needs Jesus. And what we are praying for when we pray your kingdom come we are praying that God’s kingdom will come in the lives of people that they will come to know him, that they will be filled with the Spirit, that they will be transformed by him.
There was a Christian mother, named Monica. Her husband was not a Christian and she had a son who was definitely not a Christian. He was a teenage rebel. He was lazy, he stole, he was a thief, he was a cheat, he was deceitful, he lived a very immoral life, he was sleeping around. He had had a son by someone who was not his wife and she despaired of her son but she prayed. She prayed and prayed for that teenage boy. And one day she had a vision. It was like a dream and she saw her teenage son transformed, utterly transformed by Jesus Christ. His face radiant, full of the joy of the Lord and that encouraged her to keep on praying and praying and praying., And she prayed for another nine years. And then at the age of 28, this man gave his life to Christ. And he was ordained. He became a preacher and a teacher, a Bishop, a writer, one of the most influential people in the history of Christianity. His name was St. Augustine. His conversion took place in the year 386 AD. Her prayers, “Your Kingdom come” were answered.
The New Testament encourages us to pray always. Paul says, “Pray continually. Pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests”. You don’t have to be in a church building in order to pray. You can pray anywhere. You can pray in your home, you can pray when you are lying down on your bed at night, you can pray in the street, you can pray in the Tube, you can pray on your bike, you can pray anywhere, any time. You don’t always have to pray out loud incidentally. It might be better on the Tube not to pray out loud! But you can pray all the time wherever you are and however you are feeling and He is listening.